Aren"t You Scared?
Yep.
You guessed it, this is the second most asked question we get regarding foster care.
"Aren't you scared about (you fill in the blank)?" Scared we'll get attached? Well, the hope is that you will help the babies and toddlers to attach to you! Some babies have never really attached to anyone or felt security before..
..
ever.
Would you let your fear get in the way of helping these little babies? Scared about sending them back to where they came from? The goal is usually to always return back to parents.
So, we expect that and try to work with the parents as much as we can, through relationships and parenting coaching if they are open to that.
Most times it takes awhile to show the bio parents that we are not the enemy and that we want to be a safe place for their children while they are getting the help they need.
Honestly, we've only had to send a few back to "less-than-desirable" situations out of all 29 children we've had.
Scared that "they" (the bio parents or bio extended family) will know where you live or see what you drive? Honestly, of course this does cross our minds, but we know that God is our protector and He gives us wisdom and discernment regarding when and who we let know where we live.
Believe it or not, the parents are so scared to do anything wrong (in most cases) and just want to get their children back, that they don't even consider breaking the "rules".
**(We do know there are dangerous people out there and before we take any children we ask many questions and get details before agreeing to taking them in.
) Scared that the foster children will hurt my children? In general, we're not scared about that.
This is where Tad and I are much different than most people.
We really didn't know we were that different until we started taking in teens and a lot of our friends let us know "how dangerous that was".
We do have boundaries about taking in children/teens and we don't take sexually abused children for obvious reasons.
We do have small kids and we know that for us it's a boundary we're not willing to cross.
BUT, there are so many great teens out there who just happen to have parents that don't have it all together.
We have had 6 teens live with us over the last 3 years (at one point we had 2 13 yr old girls and 1 16 yr old girl..
..
need I say more!) and 2 we had for over a year.
All of our teens have loved our kids, been so careful to never say anything inappropriate in front of them (they just know innately that it's not appropriate), played hard with our kids and of course been bothered by our kids They wouldn't be normal if they weren't.
But NONE of them have ever hurt our children.
Is it possible that we get a child that hurts our kids? Yes.
But, it's also possible that my own kids hurt each other too..
..
in fact, very possible with multiple boys Scared that DHS will accuse you of (you fill in the blank)? We have a great relationship with DHS and all the caseworkers and certifiers! They really are trying their best to do what they think is right for the child, while at the same time having to follow policy.
Yes, if you don't enjoy having people over to your house, then you wouldn't like this.
I, by nature, love hospitality! I love having people into my home and feeding them whatever we're eating at the time (someone is always eating here!).
I usually have some type of DHS worker in my home about once a week, sometimes more, sometimes less.
Have we been accused of anything before? Yep.
But, not by DHS and because it was obviously unfounded and untrue, it went nowhere.
Once again, God is our protector! There are MANY things we COULD be scared of.
We choose not to.
We never dwell on those types of things.
God did NOT give us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of LOVE and of a SOUND mind.
(2 Tim.
1:7) The last thought I will leave you with (which really is not my thought at all, but the Lord's) is this: Romans 8:14-15 says, "For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are the sons of God.
For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, Abba, Father.
" Fear is a choice...
and we opt out.
You guessed it, this is the second most asked question we get regarding foster care.
"Aren't you scared about (you fill in the blank)?" Scared we'll get attached? Well, the hope is that you will help the babies and toddlers to attach to you! Some babies have never really attached to anyone or felt security before..
..
ever.
Would you let your fear get in the way of helping these little babies? Scared about sending them back to where they came from? The goal is usually to always return back to parents.
So, we expect that and try to work with the parents as much as we can, through relationships and parenting coaching if they are open to that.
Most times it takes awhile to show the bio parents that we are not the enemy and that we want to be a safe place for their children while they are getting the help they need.
Honestly, we've only had to send a few back to "less-than-desirable" situations out of all 29 children we've had.
Scared that "they" (the bio parents or bio extended family) will know where you live or see what you drive? Honestly, of course this does cross our minds, but we know that God is our protector and He gives us wisdom and discernment regarding when and who we let know where we live.
Believe it or not, the parents are so scared to do anything wrong (in most cases) and just want to get their children back, that they don't even consider breaking the "rules".
**(We do know there are dangerous people out there and before we take any children we ask many questions and get details before agreeing to taking them in.
) Scared that the foster children will hurt my children? In general, we're not scared about that.
This is where Tad and I are much different than most people.
We really didn't know we were that different until we started taking in teens and a lot of our friends let us know "how dangerous that was".
We do have boundaries about taking in children/teens and we don't take sexually abused children for obvious reasons.
We do have small kids and we know that for us it's a boundary we're not willing to cross.
BUT, there are so many great teens out there who just happen to have parents that don't have it all together.
We have had 6 teens live with us over the last 3 years (at one point we had 2 13 yr old girls and 1 16 yr old girl..
..
need I say more!) and 2 we had for over a year.
All of our teens have loved our kids, been so careful to never say anything inappropriate in front of them (they just know innately that it's not appropriate), played hard with our kids and of course been bothered by our kids They wouldn't be normal if they weren't.
But NONE of them have ever hurt our children.
Is it possible that we get a child that hurts our kids? Yes.
But, it's also possible that my own kids hurt each other too..
..
in fact, very possible with multiple boys Scared that DHS will accuse you of (you fill in the blank)? We have a great relationship with DHS and all the caseworkers and certifiers! They really are trying their best to do what they think is right for the child, while at the same time having to follow policy.
Yes, if you don't enjoy having people over to your house, then you wouldn't like this.
I, by nature, love hospitality! I love having people into my home and feeding them whatever we're eating at the time (someone is always eating here!).
I usually have some type of DHS worker in my home about once a week, sometimes more, sometimes less.
Have we been accused of anything before? Yep.
But, not by DHS and because it was obviously unfounded and untrue, it went nowhere.
Once again, God is our protector! There are MANY things we COULD be scared of.
We choose not to.
We never dwell on those types of things.
God did NOT give us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of LOVE and of a SOUND mind.
(2 Tim.
1:7) The last thought I will leave you with (which really is not my thought at all, but the Lord's) is this: Romans 8:14-15 says, "For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are the sons of God.
For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, Abba, Father.
" Fear is a choice...
and we opt out.
Source...