Growing up stinks, doesn't it? No longer being a kid, or being treated like one stinks beyond high heavens! We, teenagers, are expected to act like grown-ups when we're really still a bunch of mischief and mayhem, but then again....we're often treated like babies in nappies. I don't want to be a baby, I just want to be a kid! One that is always treated to all sorts of ice-cream and caramel toffees, one that is often given fun piggy-back rides, one that has every right to hurl a bowl of meatballs into someone's face, one that has no idea what a world is; one that doesn't need to do chores and homework, one that doesn't have to run errands, one that doesn't need to obey rules and regulations, one that doesn't have to care about table manners, one that doesn't need to grow up!

From a baby whose fingers are as tiny as marbles to a toddler who loves licking her fingers after every satisfying feast of chocolate macaroons and lollipops, from a toddler whose favorite TV shows are Sesame Street and Teletubbies to a child who adores anything pink, from a child whose sequinned dresses and shimmering skirts flood every corner of her room to a teenager whom I am right now! My life used to be a fairy-tale, plagued by bedtime stories of magical unicorns and beautiful princesses; but now???.......Plagued by prodding teachers, painful lectures, tireless pressure, history pop quizzes, inextricable exams, and a prodigious amount of HOMEWORK!!!! Let me repeat that....HOMEWORK!!!!

I want to go back in time, have a good laugh with the Teletubbies as they skip happily across the TV screen and into the sunset, with a lollipop in my cheek as its flavor begins to tickle my taste buds and burst against the walls of my mouth; I want to go back in time, mount myself onto my daddy's back and shout "Giddy-up!" at the top of my lungs, cracking tonnes of laughter with every crazy antic of mine; I want to go back in time, hop over fences, steal cookies from the kitchen, collect broken twigs and colorful pebbles, have a pillow-fight, dance in puddles, and have the best time of my life as a child! A mere child - innocent, simple, clueless, mischievous, whimsical, imaginative, and everything adorable! A teenager - EVERYTHING NOT-SO ADORABLE!!!!

I'm afraid to lose the smile I used to have when I was a child, afraid to fall in love, afraid to get hurt.....afraid to grow up. I've never been afraid of anything.....ALMOST anything! Bugs and roaches are exceptions, and so is the daunting process of growing up into a....well, grown-up! As a child, I had a smile that could light up a dark pit; a smile that was ever so genuine. There was nothing more than joy and happiness in it, but all is different now. Forcing smiles, faking laughter, and putting on masks of sincerity; tangled in a network of complications, trapped in funnels of vacancy, encased in a web of lies, and often devoured by my own schemes and twisted games. Is it me, or is it that I've already grown up?..... BUT I DON'T WANT TO GROW UP!!!!

Yes, I do mean growing up - always tumbling into the unknown, falling off cliffs, mending every broken heart you see, traversing across the skyline to hunt down every crumble of disgrace and vertigo, seeking for answers behind every wall, making a world come to life at the turn of a key......and in the end, you get hurt, you feel lost, and everything in your life seems to be torn apart. You might have grown up, but growing up doesn't make you any stronger; it makes everything fragile, and weak - like a child. It's the truth, or is it not?.....  

 But here we are again - being a child! You see, when you're a child, you're always protected from the world outside the world you've known; from the world you've never known. However, when you've grown up, you'll have to break out from your sheltered bubble and into the world where fairy-tales no longer exist and dreams of marrying a prince and living in a crystal castle no longer come true. You're thought to be strong, but you're actually not.....for there's still a child within you, and that child is you. But it only appears when you get hurt, when you feel lost, and when everything in your life seems to be torn apart - it's the part of you that's weak, and at the same time, it's the part of you that makes you grow stronger each day. There's a child in everyone....
Growing up huh? It's nothing big, trust me. You'll just have to drop everything, open your eyes and witness the constellation of life; witness every miracle, every grown finger, every smile, every tear, every wondrous work of God. From a baby whose innocent eyes have witnessed the greatest of joy to a toddler who indulges in every small pleasure of Baked Alaska and lollipops, from a toddler whose life is filled with cartoon erasers and floral buttons to a child who relishes in every story told from a sorcerer's tongue, from a child whose dream is to never grow up to a teenager who, however, has grown up......into the child she has always wanted to be - the child within her. So if you're ever afraid of growing up, don't be, because there'll always be a child in you - always.  :)