The Helicopter Effect
Last year my husband and I went on a trip to Hawaii with a group of friends who we have traveled with for the past six years.
We divided up the responsibilities: which islands to visit, where were the best places to stay, and what were -the things that we "had" to experience while visiting Maui and Kauai.
Touring the "Grand Canyon" of Kauai by helicopter was definitely a must.
Our friend Tony took the lead in finding us the "Cadillac" of helicopter tours.
He gave us a website link so we could see the luxury helicopters that we'd be flying in and could read what to expect from the tour.
I spoke with a couple ofpeople who had taken this same tour before who exclaimed profusely that flying over the volcanoes while listening to piped-in music was definitely the way to go.
Even though I have suffered from panic attacks when I flew in the past, with the help of therapy, nutrition and "better living through medication", I was ready to ride in the chopper.
About a week before our trip, we all met for dinner at our friends' home to go over any last minute details about our vacation.
Tony discovered an even better helicopter tour than the one we'd scheduled and as a matter of fact, he believed that though our current tour was considered the "Cadillac" of helicopter tours, this new one was the "Ferrari" of helicopter tours.
Buoyed by the collective joy, love and excitement of our group, we all agreed to change to the Ferrari tours.
Herein lies what I affectionately term, "The Helicopter Effect" so pay attention because maybe you've had this happen to you too.
My life was very busy at this point.
I was then still with the IT Consulting company and my long-time college, just left to frolic in greener pastures .
I was not only trying to keep up with all my own responsibilities at work, but also - hers, as well as interviewing for the two new positions that her leaving created.
I say all this to try to find some semblance of sanity in my thinking then as to why oh why it never occurred to me to: a.
)Ask Tony to clarify what the differentiation between "Ferrari" and "Cadillac" meant to him.
b.
)Find out exactly what "helicopter without doors" meant; c.
)Go look at the new tours' website to see what the helicopter without doors looks like and read about what this Ferrari tour would entail.
No, I simply trusted my friend Tony to intuit the dark shadows of my fear and blindly created my own definition of what this new tour would entail.
In my mind, without any validation via words or photos, I told myself that our helicopters would be the same kind that we had seen photos of before (large and luxurious), that "without doors" meant that the apostrophe shaped doors that were in a normal helicopter would simply be"pushed out", leaving the frame of the door behind, and that we would be thoroughly strapped into our bucket leather seats with a multi-faceted, multi-winged seatbelt with a final padded row bar pulled down and locked in place for added protection.
I truly went to great lengths to deceive myself via my imagination.
Stay with me as I now describe what ACTUALLY took place.
All the way up to the minute of our helicopter tour, I kept the same fantasy alive so that I could feel okay about taking this risk.
Even when we drove up to the heli-port and observed painfully small helicopters on the runway, I told myself that the small helicopters were actually the "mechanics' helicopters" which meant they were the ones used by the mechanics to fix the big luxurious one that I was so sure would be used for our tour.
We even watched a tape of the tour we'd be doing and saw that those same small helicopters were being used for the tour.
I suspect at this point my mind had begun to shut down.
No more information could be reconfigured.
As we walked towards our helicopter and saw the group ahead of us coming back with one man having a very scarily pale grey face and vomit circling his chest as he dangled from the necks ofhis friends, I realized that perhaps this helicopter tour was not all it was cracked up to be.
Then we indeed prepared for our long-awaited tour by entering one of those little "mechanic" helicopters.
When they say, "NO DOORS" on these suckers, they mean, NO WALLS.
Gone were the plush, comfy bucket seats of my dreams.
Instead we had a metal bench with seat belts like you'd find in an old Honda Civic.
That was it.
Oh, plus the little nylon strap above your head where you could hold on for dear life.
Did I tell you that my hands sweat uncontrollably when I get nervous?We did get headphones, but there was no piped in music.
Just the loud hum of the helicopter and the non-emotional voice of our pilot, who by the way was old enough to be my son if I had had children.
He wore a big huge cushy winter parka and padded boots.
We, of course, had on our shorts and shirts to allow for tans when we landed at the waterfall for lunch.
The next thing I knew as soon as we were belted in was the helicopter lifted up to what felt like 1000 feet almost immediately the wind began to blow through from all directions.
I really believed at that moment that I had completely "done it to myself this time".
My husband and I were sitting on the bench together and both of our hands were turning purple and sweating.
I couldn't look at him because I could sense that he was just as afraid of this adventure as I was.
As the pilot flew over the Grand Canyon he actually tilted the helicopter to the side so that we could get a better look out of the wall with no door.
I found out many days later after we landed that my husband and I had both shared the same macabre thoughts a.
) How good are these ole one strap seat belts anyway? and b.
) What would happen if I had a sudden "break" and unstrapped my seat belt and jumped just to get this horrific fear over with!?!?!Had I known that David had been thinking the same thing, we may have just gotten into a huge tangle trying to be the first one to fling ourselves from the helicopter.
Needless to say we did make it back to land.
What I learned from this adventure was to: 1.
)ask for clarity when you're going to take a risk, even if you're sure you know what it is all about; 2.
)once you get the clarity, sit with the information to learn how you feel about taking the risk and then make your decision if you want to do it or not; 3.
)it's okay to say no 4.
)When they say the helicopter does not have any doors, they mean it! Be willing to notice the "stories" that you tell yourself to get through your day, you might be surprised at how creative you can be and it's one step towards recognizing how your thoughts do pave the way towards the actions you will take.
Copyright 05/02/06
We divided up the responsibilities: which islands to visit, where were the best places to stay, and what were -the things that we "had" to experience while visiting Maui and Kauai.
Touring the "Grand Canyon" of Kauai by helicopter was definitely a must.
Our friend Tony took the lead in finding us the "Cadillac" of helicopter tours.
He gave us a website link so we could see the luxury helicopters that we'd be flying in and could read what to expect from the tour.
I spoke with a couple ofpeople who had taken this same tour before who exclaimed profusely that flying over the volcanoes while listening to piped-in music was definitely the way to go.
Even though I have suffered from panic attacks when I flew in the past, with the help of therapy, nutrition and "better living through medication", I was ready to ride in the chopper.
About a week before our trip, we all met for dinner at our friends' home to go over any last minute details about our vacation.
Tony discovered an even better helicopter tour than the one we'd scheduled and as a matter of fact, he believed that though our current tour was considered the "Cadillac" of helicopter tours, this new one was the "Ferrari" of helicopter tours.
Buoyed by the collective joy, love and excitement of our group, we all agreed to change to the Ferrari tours.
Herein lies what I affectionately term, "The Helicopter Effect" so pay attention because maybe you've had this happen to you too.
My life was very busy at this point.
I was then still with the IT Consulting company and my long-time college, just left to frolic in greener pastures .
I was not only trying to keep up with all my own responsibilities at work, but also - hers, as well as interviewing for the two new positions that her leaving created.
I say all this to try to find some semblance of sanity in my thinking then as to why oh why it never occurred to me to: a.
)Ask Tony to clarify what the differentiation between "Ferrari" and "Cadillac" meant to him.
b.
)Find out exactly what "helicopter without doors" meant; c.
)Go look at the new tours' website to see what the helicopter without doors looks like and read about what this Ferrari tour would entail.
No, I simply trusted my friend Tony to intuit the dark shadows of my fear and blindly created my own definition of what this new tour would entail.
In my mind, without any validation via words or photos, I told myself that our helicopters would be the same kind that we had seen photos of before (large and luxurious), that "without doors" meant that the apostrophe shaped doors that were in a normal helicopter would simply be"pushed out", leaving the frame of the door behind, and that we would be thoroughly strapped into our bucket leather seats with a multi-faceted, multi-winged seatbelt with a final padded row bar pulled down and locked in place for added protection.
I truly went to great lengths to deceive myself via my imagination.
Stay with me as I now describe what ACTUALLY took place.
All the way up to the minute of our helicopter tour, I kept the same fantasy alive so that I could feel okay about taking this risk.
Even when we drove up to the heli-port and observed painfully small helicopters on the runway, I told myself that the small helicopters were actually the "mechanics' helicopters" which meant they were the ones used by the mechanics to fix the big luxurious one that I was so sure would be used for our tour.
We even watched a tape of the tour we'd be doing and saw that those same small helicopters were being used for the tour.
I suspect at this point my mind had begun to shut down.
No more information could be reconfigured.
As we walked towards our helicopter and saw the group ahead of us coming back with one man having a very scarily pale grey face and vomit circling his chest as he dangled from the necks ofhis friends, I realized that perhaps this helicopter tour was not all it was cracked up to be.
Then we indeed prepared for our long-awaited tour by entering one of those little "mechanic" helicopters.
When they say, "NO DOORS" on these suckers, they mean, NO WALLS.
Gone were the plush, comfy bucket seats of my dreams.
Instead we had a metal bench with seat belts like you'd find in an old Honda Civic.
That was it.
Oh, plus the little nylon strap above your head where you could hold on for dear life.
Did I tell you that my hands sweat uncontrollably when I get nervous?We did get headphones, but there was no piped in music.
Just the loud hum of the helicopter and the non-emotional voice of our pilot, who by the way was old enough to be my son if I had had children.
He wore a big huge cushy winter parka and padded boots.
We, of course, had on our shorts and shirts to allow for tans when we landed at the waterfall for lunch.
The next thing I knew as soon as we were belted in was the helicopter lifted up to what felt like 1000 feet almost immediately the wind began to blow through from all directions.
I really believed at that moment that I had completely "done it to myself this time".
My husband and I were sitting on the bench together and both of our hands were turning purple and sweating.
I couldn't look at him because I could sense that he was just as afraid of this adventure as I was.
As the pilot flew over the Grand Canyon he actually tilted the helicopter to the side so that we could get a better look out of the wall with no door.
I found out many days later after we landed that my husband and I had both shared the same macabre thoughts a.
) How good are these ole one strap seat belts anyway? and b.
) What would happen if I had a sudden "break" and unstrapped my seat belt and jumped just to get this horrific fear over with!?!?!Had I known that David had been thinking the same thing, we may have just gotten into a huge tangle trying to be the first one to fling ourselves from the helicopter.
Needless to say we did make it back to land.
What I learned from this adventure was to: 1.
)ask for clarity when you're going to take a risk, even if you're sure you know what it is all about; 2.
)once you get the clarity, sit with the information to learn how you feel about taking the risk and then make your decision if you want to do it or not; 3.
)it's okay to say no 4.
)When they say the helicopter does not have any doors, they mean it! Be willing to notice the "stories" that you tell yourself to get through your day, you might be surprised at how creative you can be and it's one step towards recognizing how your thoughts do pave the way towards the actions you will take.
Copyright 05/02/06
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