Authentic Self-Reflection - Your Key to a Fulfilling Future
Winter is the season when animals hibernate, plants and trees go dormant, and days get shorter and colder.
It is also a natural time for us to take ourselves in, so to speak, to review our past year and prepare for the year to come.
Both reflection and preparation have many components, but key areas regarding our lives - both internal and external - include:
depending on our focus.
As we reflect on our past year, it is not uncommon for us to discount our growth and accomplishments in favor of focusing on who we didn't become, what we didn't accomplish, and/or where we just plain missed the mark.
Unfortunately there are immediate and future consequences to this lopsided way of thinking -- if we stay there.
Letting our successes slip from us like teflon, and our real or perceived shortfalls stick to us like velcro, depletes our self-worth, and as a result stifles our opportunities to move forward towards a future we desire.
I am not suggesting that we wear rose colored glasses in order to gloss over or omit seeing and addressing mistakes we made or goals we failed to accomplish.
Nor am I saying that we should focus solely on what did work or what goals we did reach, pretending that there were no bumps along the way.
Acknowledging both 'successful' and 'negative' experiences, and our moods, physical messages and responses, and language attendant to each provides us invaluable information about what values we hold, how our lives aligned with them or not, and what helped or hindered us from living full lives.
Seeing ourselves through this wide-angled lens prepares us to create a future we desire.
We can continue what serves us, and rather than disregard or shun negative feelings, explore what they want to reveal to us about who we are being and what we are doing that is not 'right.
' Perhaps then we'll discover that we want and need to move in a new direction, let go of a relationship, change our attitude...
Specifically, a wide-angled view allows us to consciously recognize and strengthen the moods that propelled our past successes - perhaps confidence and hope - and to learn from, rather than be stuck in negative moods of resignation, anxiety or fear that inhibit growth and change.
It also allows us to consciously recognize physical messages and emit responses (80% of our communication about ourselves and to others emanates from our non-verbal bodies) that center, energize and connect us -- deep-torso breathing, smiling, a stable, flexible stance, for instance -- rather than continue practices such as perpetual shallow breathing, frowning or standing our ground regardless, that make us unhealthy, off-putting or isolated from others.
And a wide-angled perspective helps us become aware of the language we use about ourselves and our circumstances, that which soothes, strengthens and cheers us on: 'This is challenging and I can meet the challenge', 'I am a thoughtful, thorough leader, a faithful friend...
' -- in contrast to road-blocking, self-defeating language such as, 'I'll never be good enough', 'I should have done that but I didn't.
' Our moods, bodies and language are not separate entities; one effects the other which effects the other and together, create our reality.
Take on a positive mood and our bodies and language will follow (and vice versa), like a synergetic symphony.
What we acknowledge when we (re)view ourselves and our life + what we choose to maintain, change or omit = who we are, who we can become, and what and how we do what we do.
May you give yourself the gift of acknowledging, honoring and learning about yourself from your range of experiences during the past year, so that you may clearly, confidently and compassionately pursue a future worth living - fully.
Copyright 1/7/10, Dana E.
Whitaker
It is also a natural time for us to take ourselves in, so to speak, to review our past year and prepare for the year to come.
Both reflection and preparation have many components, but key areas regarding our lives - both internal and external - include:
- to what did I/do I want to commit my time and energy
- what did I/do I want to learn about myself and the world
- what challenges did I/do I plan to face, manage or overcome
depending on our focus.
As we reflect on our past year, it is not uncommon for us to discount our growth and accomplishments in favor of focusing on who we didn't become, what we didn't accomplish, and/or where we just plain missed the mark.
Unfortunately there are immediate and future consequences to this lopsided way of thinking -- if we stay there.
Letting our successes slip from us like teflon, and our real or perceived shortfalls stick to us like velcro, depletes our self-worth, and as a result stifles our opportunities to move forward towards a future we desire.
I am not suggesting that we wear rose colored glasses in order to gloss over or omit seeing and addressing mistakes we made or goals we failed to accomplish.
Nor am I saying that we should focus solely on what did work or what goals we did reach, pretending that there were no bumps along the way.
Acknowledging both 'successful' and 'negative' experiences, and our moods, physical messages and responses, and language attendant to each provides us invaluable information about what values we hold, how our lives aligned with them or not, and what helped or hindered us from living full lives.
Seeing ourselves through this wide-angled lens prepares us to create a future we desire.
We can continue what serves us, and rather than disregard or shun negative feelings, explore what they want to reveal to us about who we are being and what we are doing that is not 'right.
' Perhaps then we'll discover that we want and need to move in a new direction, let go of a relationship, change our attitude...
Specifically, a wide-angled view allows us to consciously recognize and strengthen the moods that propelled our past successes - perhaps confidence and hope - and to learn from, rather than be stuck in negative moods of resignation, anxiety or fear that inhibit growth and change.
It also allows us to consciously recognize physical messages and emit responses (80% of our communication about ourselves and to others emanates from our non-verbal bodies) that center, energize and connect us -- deep-torso breathing, smiling, a stable, flexible stance, for instance -- rather than continue practices such as perpetual shallow breathing, frowning or standing our ground regardless, that make us unhealthy, off-putting or isolated from others.
And a wide-angled perspective helps us become aware of the language we use about ourselves and our circumstances, that which soothes, strengthens and cheers us on: 'This is challenging and I can meet the challenge', 'I am a thoughtful, thorough leader, a faithful friend...
' -- in contrast to road-blocking, self-defeating language such as, 'I'll never be good enough', 'I should have done that but I didn't.
' Our moods, bodies and language are not separate entities; one effects the other which effects the other and together, create our reality.
Take on a positive mood and our bodies and language will follow (and vice versa), like a synergetic symphony.
What we acknowledge when we (re)view ourselves and our life + what we choose to maintain, change or omit = who we are, who we can become, and what and how we do what we do.
May you give yourself the gift of acknowledging, honoring and learning about yourself from your range of experiences during the past year, so that you may clearly, confidently and compassionately pursue a future worth living - fully.
Copyright 1/7/10, Dana E.
Whitaker
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