Have you had to deal with your child crying at the checkout because you refuse to buy them what they want? A child can make you feel stressed and uncomfortable and sometimes anxious standing at that checkout.
It's amazing how a crying child can disturb everybody's calm.
As you read on you will see that children acting this way is very normal.
Children use what works to get what they want.
Parents deal with this in various ways, but usually not very effectively.
But there is hope.
Here is a method of changing behaviour for the both of you to eliminate those stressful times.
Let's begin.
It is important for parents to realize that children asking for things and using whatever to get them is a normal healthy trait.
A child must be assertive to get what they want.
They usually are competing against their brothers or sisters or friends.
Younger children do not understand or care about unreasonable requests, they only know they want it.
They don't care if they make a scene, they just want what they want.
So, give them what they want, but give it to them within a new understanding in which they have to change their behaviour to get what they want.
Parents often have weak methods of dealing with wanting children.
Some dads or moms just buy them what they want just to get them to stop whining.
Other parents argue with or reprimand their child.
These methods just leave the parent feeling frustrated and far from in control.
The child doesn't enjoy the tense emotional situations either.
Repeating this in most stores while shopping can make for a really long day.
The first most important thing is to create a simple new verbal understanding and rules for the child on how to ask mommy or daddy to buy something for them.
The following rules are what I used with my own children when they were young.
Rule 1 - Children are always allowed to ask for something in the store.
Kids always love Rule 1.
Rule 2 - If your answer is YES, then they can't ask again.
Let them carry it around, but if they forget and ask again, the rule is they must give up their choice, and not ask again in the store.
(I gave chances when mine forgot, I'm such a mush.
) Eventually they stop forgetting.
Rule 3 - If your answer is NO, and they cry or wine, then they will not get anything from this store.
Tell them no matter what they say or do, they have loss their chance for anything in this store because they cried.
When re-enforcing this rule, always speak in calm tones no matter how they are reacting.
Then just move on with your shopping.
Rule 4 - This rule is for you parents.
Consistency and calmness.
The rules should be applied with consistency.
It would be good idea to echo "key" phrases such as "I'll buy that for you, but you can't ask for anything else.
OK?"and get an OK from your child.
Remaining calm throughout all of this gives your child the emotional understanding that he or she can get things from you without all the emotional drama from you under this new understanding.
These rules take a little time to become effective but repetitive key phrases helps to reduce the learning curve for children.
Again, be patient and calm when applying these rules.
Your children will change their attitude because as I said before "children use what works to get what they want" so show them that your rules are what's going to work for them.