Want to make friends? Want to have your friends call you, instead of you having to call them every single time? The real question is, are you caught at some superficial level, or are you aware of and connect to people's rhythms - while in a social interaction? This is not an attack, but in a way it is - if that is what it takes for you to simply drop everything that stops you from feeling for people.
Feel for people.
Actually, I would say your number one focus - if your life quality, whether it be level of professional success or just love in your lie, is way below your standard - should be on feeling for people.
Because when you do, your life becomes much more exciting.
Your face opens up - because it has to be open, for you to feel for people - which allows you to take in all the different nuances of your experiences, while at the same time relieving you of a lot of the stress that being emotionally closed up gives rise to.
You do not have to deal, anymore, with all the "what if they do not like what I am saying?" - if you are simply focused on the problems that THAT person has, which focusing on the rhythms of that person will provide to you the opportunity to choose to do.
When your focus is on the rhythm of the other person, you get out of logic thinking - which you have to in order to feel, to tap into feeling for that other person.
You start realizing that when that person has that particular facial expression, he or she feels the exact same way that you would do if you had that expression.
This, inevitably, brings you closer to that person; because you see that you two are very alike; regardless if you are wildly opposite in every other way.
Regardless of if you two do completely different things in your life, the moment you realize that you both feel the same ways - when having that expression - you find that you are alike.
Cannot help but do that.
So, what is a way of connecting to the rhythms of another person? Well, one thing to do is to stop thinking about your own problems.
But that is not very pro-active...
you still have your focus on your own problems - meaning telling you to stop thinking about them is like telling somebody to not think about a pig.
The person will think about a pig.
I already said that focusing on the problems of the other person is a good one, it is a good start - because it takes you out of all social performance anxiety, because it shows you that that person has problems as well; that he or she is only human, and that it is good if you can be there for that person.
It might seem negative to do this, "focus on the problems", but, really, what you do is find a way to connect to the feelings of that person.
It is nothing but awesome.
Other ways to connect to the rhythms, would be anyway of letting go - doing the things that relaxes you.
After that, being caught up in your mind will be history, and you will feel good being around that person.
The reason I am talking about rhythms in the context of social interaction, is that doing so is a great way to activate yourself - a great way to see "the matrix" of social interaction.
Think of rhythms, and you will have a much easier time adapting your body language - so as to make people around you comfortable; you will make friends easier this way.
In other words, you are aware of their rhythms which you become first when you let go of your mind, which you do by relaxing - you feel into them, and you adapt your body language to make them feel good.
Simple.