The Purpose of Relationship (Part 3)

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As we conclude our series, we now examine how the introduction of human factor has compounded the beautiful relationship arrangement.

Over the ages we have seen how human civilization has infused unthinkable complexity into human relationship. 

This is no fault of civilization, as society naturally adjusts to the norms dictated by any prevailing social situation.

The Human Factor in Relationship

With this adjustment came an expected burden upon human relationship--a burden too heavy for human relationship to bear.

The bad news is that these complexities have unleashed avoidable pain upon innocent lives, simply because they entered into a ‘necessary' relationship.  The good news is that humans themselves have been able to manage, to an astonishing degree, the various situations with surprising competence.

We have in mind here, the love relationship.  How can we and how do we improve our love relationship at every level?

People go into any form of relationship to satisfy some essential human needs.  These needs include spiritual, physical, and emotional.  Each of these areas is broader than it appears to the human eyes and sounds to the human ears.  A workable and healthy relationship must be seen to meet the needs of one or more of these areas.

Relationship Expectations

People go into love relationship for various reasons. Some of these reasons may be more than one.  The type of expectations some people bring into relationships could be described as one-sided and seek to gratify only one partner.  Such expectations could impose unnecessary burden on the relationship.  If expectations do not benefit the two parties involved in the relationship, those expectations are bound to be seen as self-centered and so have the unintentional effect of weighing down the relationship or slowing down its growth.

For example, expectations about how to negotiate differences, handle financial matters, compromise on conflicts, and how to deal with difficult issues when they arise, are some practical issues that could feature prominently in discussions of both parties.

Therefore, everyone going into relationship is to endeavor to come along with realistic expectations.  These are expectations that are practical, pragmatic and workable.  Again, that idea may mean different things to different people.

Conditions for Relationship Success

For a relationship to succeed, it requires the concerted effort of the two individuals involved.  It is to be seen as a work in progress.  Remember, we are in it for the express purpose of satisfying our physical, emotional and spiritual needs.  That may sound selfish, but it's a selfishness that is well-founded and justifiable.  ‘I need you because I think or believe you have what I want.  By the same token, you need me because you think or believe I have what you want'. 

Those thoughts and beliefs are largely correct, until extraneous factors tiptoe in to ruffle the relationship.

Thus self-interest is at the core of every relationship. Everyone desires to have his or her needs fulfilled.   On the face of it, and without reading too much into it, this is healthy.  After all, self-interest is also at the heart of most human actions.

Incidentally, as soon as you enter into a relationship the various individual self-interests are to fuse into a singular mutual self-interest for the benefit of both parties in the relationship.  In that way both partners are better off for it and the relationship is better off for it as well.

Here are seven practical steps that could help to build a strong, healthy, and virile relationship:
  1. Each partner is to learn to consistently exchange overt or covert rewarding behaviors.
  2. Respect the feelings of one another with a non-judgmental attitude.
  3. Communicate, communicate and more communication.
  4. Defer to one another in conflict areas, realizing there's no winner or vanquished.
  5. Be graceful in the introduction and discussion of sensitive or difficult subjects.
  6. Learn to forgive--a veritable relationship virtue.
  7. Trust without reservations--see and hear no evil.

You feel your relationship is failing?  There's hope.  We can help with good books and e-books to re-charge your relationship battery and keep it humming again.  You are invited to visit us at helpful relationship advice and see the collection of materials to re-energize your relationship. 

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