Some People Are Just Too Nice
Most people who get into alcohol or drug rehab or some other addiction treatment are brought there by family or friends.
The addict is destructive - they're ruining their own lives and those of the people around them - and the parents, spouse, or other family member or friend wants to do something about it.
They may be angry or frustrated beyond belief, but underneath it all they also care enough to do something effective about the problem.
Nevertheless, there are literally millions of people suffering from alcohol or drug addiction who aren't getting the help they need.
Is it because they don't know anyone who cares about them? No.
The problem is that some people are just too nice.
They let their friends and family indulge in destructive behavior because they don't want to upset them or because it's 'none of their business.
' They watch people the people they care about turn into alcoholics or drug addicts, lose their jobs, their family, their money.
They watch their lives slowly reduce to nothing - and do nothing effective about it because they have the misguided idea that they're being nice, being correct, or respecting the person's privacy.
Parents can be especially prone to this type of thing.
The kids are 'grown up.
' Parents think they don't have the right to interfere and see it as attempting to control their kids' lives.
But, really, somebody has to.
Who's it going to be if not the parents, friends or spouse? Although there's a place for it, being nice is somewhat over-rated.
How many people's lives could have been saved from ruin if someone they knew had taken the bull by the horns instead of thinking it was incorrect or impolite to interfere or respect someone's privacy? Many former addicts and alcoholics are alive today only because someone else stepped up to the plate and insisted they get help - not just to the point of demanding it, but actually doing something effective like calling an interventionist or booking them a spot in an addiction treatment center and putting the addict in the car and taking them there.
That's the degree of control a drug addict or alcoholic needs.
Yelling, screaming, pleading, cajoling, loving, understanding, suggesting - none of it will do any good.
The problem is out of the addict's control.
They want to do something about it, but they can't.
Someone has to make the arrangements, take them by the hand, and say "Honey, you're doing this.
And you're going to do it right now.
" No excuses, no "I'll go tomorrow," no "I'll go next week as soon as I finish _____ (fill in the blank with the hundreds of possibilities)," or no "I might lose my job.
" The news is full of items about people who died from drugs or alcohol or were permanently injured, maimed, crippled or otherwise damaged.
The prison population in the U.
S.
is higher per capita than any other free nation, and most of the people in the prisons committed crimes while under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
There's nothing wrong with being nice, but there is something wrong with being ineffective.
That's where the line is drawn.
If you know someone with an alcohol or drug addiction problem, drag them to an addiction treatment center where they can get the help they need.
Do it as nicely as you can, of course, but do it.
The addict is destructive - they're ruining their own lives and those of the people around them - and the parents, spouse, or other family member or friend wants to do something about it.
They may be angry or frustrated beyond belief, but underneath it all they also care enough to do something effective about the problem.
Nevertheless, there are literally millions of people suffering from alcohol or drug addiction who aren't getting the help they need.
Is it because they don't know anyone who cares about them? No.
The problem is that some people are just too nice.
They let their friends and family indulge in destructive behavior because they don't want to upset them or because it's 'none of their business.
' They watch people the people they care about turn into alcoholics or drug addicts, lose their jobs, their family, their money.
They watch their lives slowly reduce to nothing - and do nothing effective about it because they have the misguided idea that they're being nice, being correct, or respecting the person's privacy.
Parents can be especially prone to this type of thing.
The kids are 'grown up.
' Parents think they don't have the right to interfere and see it as attempting to control their kids' lives.
But, really, somebody has to.
Who's it going to be if not the parents, friends or spouse? Although there's a place for it, being nice is somewhat over-rated.
How many people's lives could have been saved from ruin if someone they knew had taken the bull by the horns instead of thinking it was incorrect or impolite to interfere or respect someone's privacy? Many former addicts and alcoholics are alive today only because someone else stepped up to the plate and insisted they get help - not just to the point of demanding it, but actually doing something effective like calling an interventionist or booking them a spot in an addiction treatment center and putting the addict in the car and taking them there.
That's the degree of control a drug addict or alcoholic needs.
Yelling, screaming, pleading, cajoling, loving, understanding, suggesting - none of it will do any good.
The problem is out of the addict's control.
They want to do something about it, but they can't.
Someone has to make the arrangements, take them by the hand, and say "Honey, you're doing this.
And you're going to do it right now.
" No excuses, no "I'll go tomorrow," no "I'll go next week as soon as I finish _____ (fill in the blank with the hundreds of possibilities)," or no "I might lose my job.
" The news is full of items about people who died from drugs or alcohol or were permanently injured, maimed, crippled or otherwise damaged.
The prison population in the U.
S.
is higher per capita than any other free nation, and most of the people in the prisons committed crimes while under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
There's nothing wrong with being nice, but there is something wrong with being ineffective.
That's where the line is drawn.
If you know someone with an alcohol or drug addiction problem, drag them to an addiction treatment center where they can get the help they need.
Do it as nicely as you can, of course, but do it.
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