Relationship And Break Up Woes - What To Do To Win Your Ex Back
Okay so you had a major disagreement and it seems like the end of the line or end of the world. The problem is, the more you see it getting worse the more you act irrationally and impulsively and the more you want to control your man. He resists it and it snowballs as you want to control him more and more and resentment grows within each of you. Whoa danger sign! Time to back off a bit before you panic and make a fool of yourself, making yourself even more undesirable to your man. So what to do next you wonder? Here are some pieces of advice which I have gathered from my good male friends themselves:
(1) Back off a bit and do not make him feel that you are a burden; a partner is supposed to be someone who makes the other feel light and inspired, not stressed and irritated. Stop communicating for awhile, no texts, no calls, no flooding of emails, no showing up where uninvited. Give him some peace and silence for several days. Impulsively communicating will also tend to make you say things that you will regret later, providing a breather will also help you rethink and act more rationally and calmly.
(2) A man will not want to get back with a woman when his last memories before a break up is a woman who is yelling, raging, swearing NO MATTER WHO IS AT FAULT. You can never correct a crude behavior if you keep justifying it. Hold your emotions - reacting calmly and quietly will make him feel remorse and realize his mistake more easily. So until you can feel you have a control of your bitterness and hatred, it is best to keep away from him and instead divert your time and effort to positive energy. Indulge in your favorite sport or hobby, especially one that allows you to interact with others so that you will be able to take your mind off the break up instead of sulking and wallowing in self-pity. Having a chance to interact with others will make you feel better about yourself. Here is one tip of what I do: I go to my favorite orphanage and do charitable work. It will make you feel light and good and this will calm your spirit which prepares you for a better interaction with him.
(3) It will be wonderful if after some breather after a break up, you hear from him and you start rebuilding the relationship. But what if it does not happen? After some breather (and make sure there is no more trace of bitterness nor hatred), you can write a letter (a calm one please!) but make sure it is something positive and not something that has a bitter note, such as justifying what you did if you have already made a fool of yourself during the break up. Better still, just be nice, sweet and thoughtful, like wanting to know how he is and showing you care without any strings attached. Chances are he will soften up and you can start from there.
Why is this better than talking to him upfront? First of all, writing a letter or an email will allow you to think clearly, organize your thoughts and say things in a more relaxed manner, he may reject talking to you, but he will always be curious what you have written to him. Secondly, you get to say everything you wish to say without getting derailed or it getting nasty as compared to talking to him wherein it might end up in another argument - pushing your chances of getting him back together all the more.
(1) Back off a bit and do not make him feel that you are a burden; a partner is supposed to be someone who makes the other feel light and inspired, not stressed and irritated. Stop communicating for awhile, no texts, no calls, no flooding of emails, no showing up where uninvited. Give him some peace and silence for several days. Impulsively communicating will also tend to make you say things that you will regret later, providing a breather will also help you rethink and act more rationally and calmly.
(2) A man will not want to get back with a woman when his last memories before a break up is a woman who is yelling, raging, swearing NO MATTER WHO IS AT FAULT. You can never correct a crude behavior if you keep justifying it. Hold your emotions - reacting calmly and quietly will make him feel remorse and realize his mistake more easily. So until you can feel you have a control of your bitterness and hatred, it is best to keep away from him and instead divert your time and effort to positive energy. Indulge in your favorite sport or hobby, especially one that allows you to interact with others so that you will be able to take your mind off the break up instead of sulking and wallowing in self-pity. Having a chance to interact with others will make you feel better about yourself. Here is one tip of what I do: I go to my favorite orphanage and do charitable work. It will make you feel light and good and this will calm your spirit which prepares you for a better interaction with him.
(3) It will be wonderful if after some breather after a break up, you hear from him and you start rebuilding the relationship. But what if it does not happen? After some breather (and make sure there is no more trace of bitterness nor hatred), you can write a letter (a calm one please!) but make sure it is something positive and not something that has a bitter note, such as justifying what you did if you have already made a fool of yourself during the break up. Better still, just be nice, sweet and thoughtful, like wanting to know how he is and showing you care without any strings attached. Chances are he will soften up and you can start from there.
Why is this better than talking to him upfront? First of all, writing a letter or an email will allow you to think clearly, organize your thoughts and say things in a more relaxed manner, he may reject talking to you, but he will always be curious what you have written to him. Secondly, you get to say everything you wish to say without getting derailed or it getting nasty as compared to talking to him wherein it might end up in another argument - pushing your chances of getting him back together all the more.
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