When a relationship ends it is natural to feel as if your emotions are in complete turmoil.
Some people experience such rapidly changing moods that they fear they might be going crazy.
If you are concerned about your mental state after losing your partner, don't worry, it is normal to experience mood changes.
In fact, there are five distinct emotional stages to getting through a relationship breakup.
The emotions you can expect to feel are the ones psychologists talk about as the five stages of grief.
Although your ex partner has left you by choice, you are experiencing loss in the same way you would feel if you had suffered a bereavement.
This is perfectly normal; you have suffered a trauma.
You don't need to fear that your sanity is in danger.
But, if you are suffering badly, you should ask your doctor for advice.
The first stage you will experience after the end of the relationship is denial.
You just can't bring yourself to believe your ex has really dumped you.
You can't think about anything but the breakup.
You keep replaying events and trying to shine a different light on them.
You look desperately for a loophole that will make the split a terrible mistake.
You refuse to believe that your ex is not going to come back to you.
You won't even accept that there was any problem within the relationship.
Feelings of anger and resentment follow the emotional stage of denial.
You can suddenly become deeply angry with your ex or with yourself.
You will probably feel like lashing out and punishing your ex for the pain you are suffering.
You might be angry with yourself for doing something to cause the demise of your relationship.
You might feel anger for something you imagine might have been the trigger for your ex dumping you.
Bargaining is the next emotional stage.
This is where you find yourself thinking of what good deeds you will do "if only..
".
You will promise to give up your favourite pastime, or give money to charity, if only you can get your ex back in return.
You will find that you are effectively trying to make a deal with God, or the Universe, or another power (depending upon your personal beliefs).
Next to arrive is depression.
Depression is one of the emotional stages that can occur at any time after the relationship breakup.
At times you will probably feel that everything you do just leads you into depression.
Depression is not a stage that arrives, is worked through, and then leaves for good.
It is more likely to keep recurring, and it can be hard to shake off.
As time passes, the phases of depression will become less intense.
The final stage of grief for the loss of a loved one is acceptance.
This is when you have come to terms with the event.
You will find that you will be feeling better; you will feel more like your old self.
You might still be a long way from feeling happy, but you will have turned a corner on the road to your recovery.
Breaking up with your partner hurts; there is no doubt about that.
The pain and unhappiness caused when a love affair or marriage ends can lead to severe depression.
But pain is only part of the grieving and healing process.
In order to get over the loss of the one you love, you will have to go through the various emotional stages.
There is no shortcut to take you straight to acceptance and healing.
Understanding why you are experiencing these emotions will help you to deal with them as they come and go.
These emotional stages do not occur in a set order and the changes you will experience are not sudden.
The relief that comes with acceptance arrives gradually like dawn breaking over a dark landscape.
With acceptance comes renewed strength and optimism.
This is the time to decide whether it would be right to attempt to reconcile with your ex or whether your relationship breakup is beyond healing.