Sometimes parents and friends are incredibly generous with money for wedding budgets.
Some of you have been saving for your wedding for a long time and have a nice little nest egg built up.
Still others (and this is many of you) are scratching your heads and figuring out whether it makes sense to take out a loan to pay for your wedding.
OK.
I can answer that last one: NO.
Weddings are definitely in the pay as you go category! But even if you have a lot of money to spend on your wedding, it's a great idea to stop and figure out whether you WANT to spend a lot of money on your wedding.
Or more appropriately, whether it's right to spend a lot of money on your wedding.
The recession has allowed people, whether or not they are particularly hard hit by it, to sit back and think about how they spend money.
You have the chance to spend money on your wedding on the things that matter to you.
I know that the wedding industry has a great investment in your dollars, but they don't necessarily know what's most important to you.
There's very little encouragement for you to sit down before you begin to allocate your money to see what really matters to you, so that you can spend that money in ways that will really make it your wedding.
What really allows people to support you and be excited by your wedding (beyond a good wedding ceremony and a sincere wedding vows) is having a wedding where they recognize your personalities and style.
Too many weddings are about weddings and not about the transition of your fabulous relationship from lovers into partners, engagement into marriage.
Why not sit down and figure out what's important to you about your wedding and your lives, and then spend your money accordingly.
Some of these emphases may require higher applications of cash, but you can often think around that if you're smart.

• Your relationship: Use the wedding ceremony to help people understand that this wedding is about your transition to marriage.
  Gather people's support and celebration.
  
• Your community: Invite people to celebrate with you who really matter.
  Then design a wedding ceremony that helps them build community.
  You're going to need their support.
  
• Hospitality: if sharing food and drink and a lovely ambiance are part of the way you are in the world, by all means, focus on that here.
  But make the food accessible and central rather than over the top (unless of course, over the top is who you are!).
  Simple, wholesome foods can be a wonderful statement.
  Do you like wine? Choose a vintner and offer those wines.
  Talk about why they're important to you.
  Tie their choice to a moment in your wedding ceremony when you offer one another wine.
  Or find venue that is comfortable and inviting.
  
• Music: Maybe you're big music lovers.
  Find musicians to play music you love.
  Just remember that you want to welcome all your guests.
  (So heavy metal during the dinner hour when your grandparents and cronies are there isn't a great idea!)

You can focus your wedding and your expenditures on whatever you want.
Just remember that what you really want to be at the end of the day is married and happy to have spent your time in the company of your community.
Here are some important pieces of reality:

1. Your parents won't mind if you hand them money back at the end of the day.
   
2. While it does cost money to entertain a lot of people, the fun you and your friends have at your wedding is not dependent upon the money you spend at the party.
   
3. I haven't seen the figures, but I'm guessing that spending more money on your wedding does not ensure a successful marriage.
   

The point is, you can spend your money according to who you are and not along wedding industry guidelines.
You'll have a better wedding and marriage for taking the time early on!