Once upon a time - a long, long time ago in the '90s - we had a dream.
It began at the top of our noggins with an ice-straight blowout and then we worked our way down to the D&G dress, Gucci purse and the fabulous jewelry that we couldn't afford, but our benefactor Visa seemed to support.
No matter what the cost, we wanted one thing: To be glamorous.
Even if we worked at the local mall stocking Hanes tighty whities, we wanted to look like a movie star.
A funny thing happened after the economy collapsed.
My clients are saying words that could have sent you to style penitentiary a few years ago.
"Tamara," they lean in and confide.
"I want to look good, but I don't want to be too glamorous.
" This is an interesting phenomenon because while women want to be pretty - or even very pretty - they don't want to be too much.
This leads me to ask you: When it comes to looks and style, what do you want? Do you want to be pretty or glamorous? A head turner or a heart breaker? Or are you still humming that U2 song when it comes to style -"I still haven't found what I'm looking for?" I think I can give you some resolve on this issue even if your own style has been in flux since you turned five.
You do want to be pretty, but more importantly, you really need to step into who you are as a woman.
Then the rest will fall into place.
Style isn't an exercise in looking like Demi, Michelle or any number of these Jennifers or Jessicas floating around out there.
Style is about finding the best shapes for you along with the best colors, best hair style, best clothes, best shoes...
the best everything for just you.
It's not about what Reese is doing.
Again, it's about how you are as a woman.
Just a little side note: you might just get a little glamorous along the way when you figure this one out.
Sorry, it's the fallout of finally finding your unique style.
Glamor is that little pouch of makeup samples they offer you with the big purchase.
You could turn it down, but why would you? When you finally figure out the real you, how to pull it all together and polish up what you have..
you just can't stop it.
The glamorous, gorgeous, glowing version of YOU will be on display for all to see.
You will become that woman.
You know that women.
She's the one who shows up at the PTA meeting in the black pants, simple white shirt, the great layered haircut and looks absolutely stunning.
Everything she's done seems right.
Her skin glows; her eyes shine and that damn hair swings in the right direction even when she sits by the air-conditioning vent.
She isn't worried about buying 10 pairs of black pants (because they all fit differently).
One really is enough.
She is confident in her body.
Even if it's not perfect.
This blog is dedicated to you finding your best self.
It's not about vanity because there is a vast difference between vanity and beauty.
Vanity is standing in front of a mirror and getting so lost that you can't come up for air.
The type of beauty we'll find here is the type where you say, "This is what I have to work with in life.
I'll do my best with it.
I'll own it.
" Look at Jackie O.
She was never the most gorgeous, but with those trademark sunglasses, classic cardigans, slim Capri's and that perfect dark bob, she was stunning and classic.
Look at Michelle Obama who looks so much different since she has moved to Pennsylvania Avenue.
During the campaign, she was beautiful, but now she has a new rock-solid confidence and has transformed into gorgeous.
What could possibly be different other than she sent out change of address cards? Answer: She owns her beauty.
She wears clothes from J.
Crew and looks like she just stepped off a runway.
She's not a perfect beauty, but most of us would be happy to feel that good about ourselves.
By the way, she looks quite glamorous to me now.
It's just part of the deal.