Saving My Relationship, Saving My Marriage And Avoiding Divorce
During the breakup the most important thing was saving my relationship, keeping my marriage together and avoiding divorce. Oh there were times it looked bleak and impossible, because sometimes a couple just gets so frustrated and angry with each other that it seems there's no place to go but apart. And we did part...for a while.
Saving my relationship, family and way of life was my first priority, but I didn't have a clue what to do. Being faced with such a challenge made me willing, for the first time, to explore other options through counseling, books, and probably the most important thing...self reflection. As I stepped back from my troubled marriage, and the desperation of saving my relationship, I could begin to be open to the good advice found through my reading and the experience of others. When you're lost and afraid that you might not ever get back together this is very difficult to do, but take a deep breath and calm down so that you can take the next step.
The next step is to just step back. I stopped the demanding phone calls and emails. I quit trying to "run into" my ex. I began to focus on things I enjoyed doing, and friends that I had neglected. Doing these things occupied my brain so I couldn't wallow is fear and grief. It's simple distraction. When you can't stop thinking about one thing, distract yourself with something else. With my ex, I just pulled back and instead of focusing on them I took stock of my own life and what had gotten me to this place. Doing this was painful, but it taught me a lot about myself, and in the end was the key to saving my relationship, marriage and family. I learned that just because you don't feel like doing something, doesn't mean you shouldn't. Most of the time, in relationships, it means you should.
There's truth to the old saying "If you love something set it free, if it comes back to you it's yours, if it doesn't it never was." This is easier said than done, of course, but I have found it to be absolutely true. Be open to advice, learn from your mistakes, and seek to discover how and what to do from other people who have been through what you're going through. Saving my relationship was certainly worth all the struggles and has made me believe in the power of love.
Saving my relationship, family and way of life was my first priority, but I didn't have a clue what to do. Being faced with such a challenge made me willing, for the first time, to explore other options through counseling, books, and probably the most important thing...self reflection. As I stepped back from my troubled marriage, and the desperation of saving my relationship, I could begin to be open to the good advice found through my reading and the experience of others. When you're lost and afraid that you might not ever get back together this is very difficult to do, but take a deep breath and calm down so that you can take the next step.
The next step is to just step back. I stopped the demanding phone calls and emails. I quit trying to "run into" my ex. I began to focus on things I enjoyed doing, and friends that I had neglected. Doing these things occupied my brain so I couldn't wallow is fear and grief. It's simple distraction. When you can't stop thinking about one thing, distract yourself with something else. With my ex, I just pulled back and instead of focusing on them I took stock of my own life and what had gotten me to this place. Doing this was painful, but it taught me a lot about myself, and in the end was the key to saving my relationship, marriage and family. I learned that just because you don't feel like doing something, doesn't mean you shouldn't. Most of the time, in relationships, it means you should.
There's truth to the old saying "If you love something set it free, if it comes back to you it's yours, if it doesn't it never was." This is easier said than done, of course, but I have found it to be absolutely true. Be open to advice, learn from your mistakes, and seek to discover how and what to do from other people who have been through what you're going through. Saving my relationship was certainly worth all the struggles and has made me believe in the power of love.
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