How To Get On With Your Life After Ending a BPD Relationship
Do you find yourself after a BPD Relationship wondering how can you get on with your life? Had your ex left you with a broken heart asking yourself what went wrong despite that you have tried everything to make your relationship work? The weeks or even months after ending a relationship with a borderline person can be painful and challenging.
You may find it hard to get going even with the smallest daily tasks.
BPDs have deep emotional traumas they have acquired early in life.
They had to grow up in environments that were deeply invalidating and had to struggle to receive the love, care, attention, and support they needed from their parents or caregivers.
A BPD can leave the impression that nothing you've done was good enough, and you are responsible for all the problems in your BPD relationship.
Read on to find out a few crucial insights from within the BPD mind that will help you get over the pain of splitting and move on with your life.
I did mention the deep invalidations a BPD had to deal with early in life.
The mild forms can be comprised by callousness, bullying, or lack of support, while the severe forms are made up by abuses and maltreatments.
If these invalidations were present on an ongoing basis, the consequence in the child can be an intense fear of abandonment.
This is actually an abandonment of his or her basic mental and emotional needs from those people who should give the best care to their child.
When this abandonment fear is coupled with intense self-deprecation and low self-esteem, the young adult will have high chances to develop borderline personality.
So the abandonment fear will manifest when relating with others, especially with the close ones.
It can take the form of fear of critique, mistreatment, or being punished by others.
This fear is so intense that a BPD can perceive abandonment even where there really is no such thing.
Moreover, the more intense this abandonment fear, the higher the chances for the BPD to act extremely, to see dangers where there is none, and to desert relationships out of the blue, thus they becoming the abandoners.
People with borderline personality lack realism about others and the world around them, so they misinterpret others and have unrealistic expectations from themselves and the people they come in contact with.
What all these mean to you is that you most probably have nothing to do with all the chaos from of your relationship, especially if your ex BPD partner had no intention to get the help he/she needed.
You may find it hard to get going even with the smallest daily tasks.
BPDs have deep emotional traumas they have acquired early in life.
They had to grow up in environments that were deeply invalidating and had to struggle to receive the love, care, attention, and support they needed from their parents or caregivers.
A BPD can leave the impression that nothing you've done was good enough, and you are responsible for all the problems in your BPD relationship.
Read on to find out a few crucial insights from within the BPD mind that will help you get over the pain of splitting and move on with your life.
I did mention the deep invalidations a BPD had to deal with early in life.
The mild forms can be comprised by callousness, bullying, or lack of support, while the severe forms are made up by abuses and maltreatments.
If these invalidations were present on an ongoing basis, the consequence in the child can be an intense fear of abandonment.
This is actually an abandonment of his or her basic mental and emotional needs from those people who should give the best care to their child.
When this abandonment fear is coupled with intense self-deprecation and low self-esteem, the young adult will have high chances to develop borderline personality.
So the abandonment fear will manifest when relating with others, especially with the close ones.
It can take the form of fear of critique, mistreatment, or being punished by others.
This fear is so intense that a BPD can perceive abandonment even where there really is no such thing.
Moreover, the more intense this abandonment fear, the higher the chances for the BPD to act extremely, to see dangers where there is none, and to desert relationships out of the blue, thus they becoming the abandoners.
People with borderline personality lack realism about others and the world around them, so they misinterpret others and have unrealistic expectations from themselves and the people they come in contact with.
What all these mean to you is that you most probably have nothing to do with all the chaos from of your relationship, especially if your ex BPD partner had no intention to get the help he/she needed.
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