How many times have you heard the story of a man leaving his wife for a younger woman? It could have happened to a friend, a family member, or even worse, to you! This phenomenon has been going on for centuries and is still a constant fear that besets even the most accomplished, most confident women of today.

Is this really inevitable? In some cultures, it is not surprising to find men living with 3 or 4 wives. In fact in some societies, having multiple wives is a norm rather than an exception, maybe because it is one way of assuring that their species will be propagated, if men are given not just a "blessing" but more like a "right" to have many wives.

If you find yourself in this situation, meaning you are a woman whose husband has been enchanted by a woman half his age, what should you do? After you've recovered from the initial shock of finding out about the affair, what's the next step that you should take?
Below are some suggestions that may help you:

1. Do not stop yourself from feeling sad. One of the best ways to deal with loss (in a way what you are experiencing is a loss of trust and love) is to grieve about it. By all means, cry and feel the pain as it is one way to extricate yourself from its hold.

2. Give yourself some pep talk. When you're done with the grieving stage, tell yourself that you are still worth loving and that this event in your life does not define you for the rest of your life. If your marriage has failed or is going to fail, it doesn't mean that all your future endeavors in life are also bound to fail.

3. Search your heart. Try to honestly answer the question - is this marriage worth saving? If you sincerely believe it is and you know in your heart that there is still a good chance of saving it, then plan your mode of action! Work towards establishing a more open communication with your husband, seek the help of a marriage counselor if necessary and find ways to rekindle his love and affection for you.

4. Proceed with caution. Although you desire to reclaim his love that got sidetracked, if you overdo your efforts, you may come out too desperate to win back his love. He may consider this excessive show of love as something suffocating, exactly what he may want to get away from.

5. Give him space if he needs it. Oftentimes an affair is just a way to express his desire to exert his independence. The risk of course there is that he may no longer come back to you. However, there is also the possibility that he'll realize how important you are in his life when you're no longer that available to him.

6. Forgive him. Give him another chance if he decides that the affair was just temporary and that he would want to give the marriage another try. Make sure though that he is also willing to work hard to revive the love and passion in your relationship.

7. Communicate. Discuss the situation openly, admit both your shortcomings and reestablish intimacy in your relationship. An affair is a signal that something is missing in your relationship. Contrary to what most women think that men only become unfaithful because the sex isn't as good as it was before, studies show that more married men enter affairs to fill up an emotional void. An honest discussion of what caused him to get into the affair in the first place will help you understand his needs better.

If you know in your heart that you've done the best you can to win your husband back, and yet he chooses not to come back to you, learn to accept the fact that the relationship is over. It will take a lot of time and soul searching, but acceptance is the first step towards healing.

Above all, love yourself and believe in your own capacity to love and be loved again.

Find more at Get Your Spouse Back.