Moving on after divorce can be very hard.
So much emotion and turmoil.
It's easier sometimes to just be bitter and alone than to face your reality.
As we've talked about before, you can't do that.
You've got get back up and move into a new place.
We talked about some ways to get support and whatnot, but how do you finally move on and get past the past? Well there are many ways and I'm going to cover some of them to help you out.
We talked about support before, but I'm going to touch on it again a little bit.
Really, really don't miss out on this opportunity for growth and grief.
We talked about how trained professionals can help you grow and how support groups can help you with your challenges, but they can help you lead a new life, too.
It's very possible that the support groups will guide you to the next big thing in your life.
By engaging in the activities recommended by your counselor or by going to the sessions and out of session meetings of your group, you are expanding not just your knowledge, but your boundaries and the group of people you know.
It will open up new opportunities for love if you let them.
New opportunities for friendship and intimacy! So let yourself go.
Open your heart again.
Another good thing you will probably have to really work on is to really let it go.
Don't linger on your old lover.
Remember, there is a reason you are at this point.
Yes, you need to forgive and let it go, but don't let yourself use forgiveness as a reason to keep holding on to the person that is no longer your partner.
It's hard, but if you keep going back, even just as a fantasy in your mind, you will create barriers to moving forward with your life.
When you fantasize about putting it back together or actually do actions to involve yourself back in that person's life not only are you slowing down your progress, but you are giving them power over you.
You are letting them mess with you again! Let them go.
Do it now and don't look back! Grieve the loss of the relationship.
It's natural and it's a normal reaction.
Let yourself have a pity party, but then move on.
Find a private spot and get it all out, scream, yell, cry, eat ice cream, play some aggressive games, work out, write angry letters and burn them, do it all and make sure you do it big! Have the huge emotional roller-coaster and don't hold back.
Then, stop.
Tell yourself, the marriage is over and so is my pity party! This doesn't mean it won't hurt in the future, but at least now you've made sure you've had a chance to put it all out there! Don't regret this pity party at all, but don't let it last for days either.
Get a new hobby.
This one sounds pretty normal and dull, but think about it.
You are changing your life for the better, what better time than to do that thing you've been meaning to do for quite some time now, but never had the chance or time? Now is the time.
Take up fishing, take up model making, take up underwater basket weaving! It doesn't really matter what, just do it! Not only will you build your esteem by learning something new, but you will create new opportunities for friendship and maybe even future love with people who share a desire with you! This next one comes with a caveat: get a pet, but not until you are ready! Make sure you are back to taking care of yourself first, but after that, nothing quite spells out wonderful as having something that unconditionally loves you when you get home.
Plus, a pet will give you new activities to help keep you busy and active.
And I know I'm starting to sound like a parrot here, but it will also give you new opportunities out in the world to make new friendships and meet new people! Take that dog for a walk.
Go to a cat fancy convention.
Hit the fish store and get something exotic or just a nice little goldfish bowl! Buy a snake and pretend the mice your are feeding it are that person that hurt you.
Just kidding, sorta...
Soon things will stat to look up and that's when you should consider opening up to love again.
Don't go looking right away, give yourself some time to consider your choices and grow.
Work over what you want to do different and what you really need this time.
Don't let your friends pressure you to early, you don't want a rebound and you don't want to break someone else's heart, but at some point start to venture out and give love another chance! Best of luck!