How do you successfully flirt with women? Let's say you are short, old, ugly, flat-broke or bald: Is there any chance? Are you weary of being lonely but you fall to pieces each time you come near a female? Are you awfully shy? Are you paralyzed at the thought of chatting with a beautiful woman? Are you tired of girls telling you that they only want to be friends? Do you stand aside and watch other guys steal your dates? Is there one, particular woman you have your heart set on but you can't seem to get to first base with her? Are you thwarted by awkward conversations that come to an abrupt halt because you can't think of anything to say? In short, do you feel like a loser wearing some kind of girl repellent? The trouble with all of this is, in fact, quite simple and can be fixed easily and quickly once you uncover some fundamental facts with regard to what makes women tick.
Men are familiar with solving problems with logic and they can't seem to see that ladies are set up completely differently.
Women respond emotionally and all successful flirting relates to getting an emotional response from a female.
Once a female is reacting to you with her emotions, she may describe her actions using logic but logic has absolutely nothing to do with getting things started.
The fact is that a girl's emotions must be ignited first or all the gifts and fancy dinners won't do you a bit of good.
However, you can make an immediate connection if you recognize the correct things to do and say.
Anybody can begin a conversation with a female but logic tells a lot of men to not even try.
At the base of this is fear of rejection.
It's like, "nothing ventured, nothing lost.
" The catch with that technique is that it gets you nowhere and keeps trapped in a condition of not being able to get what you really wish for.
The ironic thing with regard to all of this is that your reluctance and your shyness (which you think is guarding you from rejection) are as clear to a female as the nose on your face.
You can't disguise it and it functions strongly against your chances of success.
There is some primordial, biological programming functioning here that may not be clear to you or the female, for that matter.
Nevertheless, it is worth understanding it and working with it.
Take a look at a herd of elk during mating season.
The stronger males fight with each other for the right to mate with all the females in the herd.
Only a single male wins.
The logic behind this is that the most powerful male most likely has the strongest genetic traits and this insures strong and healthy calves and, thus, the long-term well-being of the herd.
The females react to this show of power and eagerly mate with the victorious male.
The weaker males are run off into exile.
Since we're purportedly a civilized species, we don't normally walk around attempting to attack every other male in the room.
As an alternative, we attempt to be more confident, more secure, more intelligent and funnier.
Ladies react to this emotionally, not logically.
Women react negatively to obvious weaknesses such as fear, lack of confidence, shyness, etc.
The good news is that in order to cause women to react positively to you, you don't need to be handsome or the correct age.
If your appearance or age is an issue used in your rejection, they are, by no means, the real reasons for the rejection, although the female may use them as an excuse not to be with you.
The real reason that you are being rejected is that you did not strike a chord with the woman's emotions.
Your ability to flirt with success requires that you absorb some particular flirting strategies that work and find out how to avoid flirting strategies that don't work.
A few, very specific "lines" will always be advantageous in engaging a female in conversation while the majority of "lines" will be seen for what they really are and will be counted against you.
The fact is that ninety percent of successful flirting is silent, composed of looks, mannerisms and body language.
Once a female is interested in you, she will consciously or unconsciously give you signs to that effect: You need to learn to recognize these signs and take advantage of them while the fire is hot.
All women are searching for particular qualities in a man.
You need to discover what these qualities are and broadcast those instead of qualities that turn women off.
Humor is a powerful flirting tool.
Use it but keep your eyes open to see if she is laughing.
If you can get her to laugh with you, you have won most of the battle already.
If she is not grinning and laughing, stop trying to be humorous because it is observably not getting you what you want.
Try another strategy.
When you are flirting, you need to look at what's working out and what's not and be on your toes to change your tactics at a moment's notice.
If you are truly intrigued with the same subjects that captivate her, that will count to your advantage.
If she tells you something, pick up on that and use it to your benefit.
Attempt to discover what particular behaviors appear to tap into her emotions and lead to sexual chemistry.
Touch can be a potent tool for flirting but it MUST be done appropriately and in the correct sequence for it to work to your advantage and not to your disadvantage.
Because touching is so powerful, it can backfire powerfully if done wrong or too soon.
Discover how to tell stories that mesmerize her heart rather than bore her.
Learn how to deal with her "testing" you by knowing what the secret agenda is that is dictating her actions.
Discover how to "turn the tables on her" thus shifting the court to your advantage.
Cause her start to wonder what you will do or say next.
Spark her interest.
Cause her to begin chasing you, instead of the opposite way around.
Speak softly and with authority and self-confidence.
As you take control of the conversation, notice that she appears to be more and more at ease with you.
Never listen to what women tell you that they find desirable in a man.
They are either fibbing to you or themselves or both.
As an alternative, look for what they actually find desirable by watching how they respond favorably or unfavorably to what is being said in the conversation.
Learn to take note of the non-verbal "green lights" that girls use to indicate the presence of sexual chemistry.
Look for particular eye signals to inform you if she's ready for sexual activity.
More often than not, what works ends up contradicting everything you believed you had learned about flirting.
All women are looking for certain traits that they desire from the men in their lives.
Discover what these particular traits are, develop them in yourself and then show the reality that you are a man who has them.
After the end of a military operation, there is ordinarily a de-briefing session for those who took part in it.
The purpose of these sessions is always the same: Discover what went well and do more of that on the next occasion AND discover what went wrong and learn what not to do in the future.
Using this strategy, each succeeding mission should be more successful than the last.
It's the same with flirting.
Discover what to do and what not to do and make a mental checklist.
After the flirting is finished, mentally de-brief yourself about what was successful and what errors may have been made.
Use this to hone yourself for the next experience.
In sum, you need to discover how women think.
Never use logic, to begin with: Determine if you can use your conversation to captivate the female emotionally.
Turn the tables to take control of the situation: This does not mean becoming bossy or manipulative.
It only means being self-confident, self-directed and perhaps, just a wee bit aloof.
Let her decide that you are worth going after.
And, finally, look for the body language that tells you that you are on the right track.
© 2011 Robert M.
Gillespie, Jr.