To unlock intimacy, to unsnap the fountain of love, to
reconnect the life wire in your marriage is like raising the dead
back to live. You may have seen "what not to do" and "what to
do"- as modeled from friends, colleagues, and, yes, even your
parents. Yet the hollow in the gap still becomes large. Left with
no healthy models, you're now more or less stumped. What do
you do?
) Find Your Bearing
Asking questions like "what do I really want for the
relationship," this helps us see and fellow our North Star to
win back the intimacy between our spouse. Despite the fact
that we may be tempted to take the wrong path, these stars
keep us focus on our goal, re-commit us to the relationship
and juices up our brain in a way that helps us keep focus.
2) Refuse The Sucker's Choice:
When you figure out what you want.
Watch to see if you're telling yourself that you must choose
between I can and I can't, break the ice and keep mute,
between winning and losing. Break free of these suckers
choice; they are devils advocates trying to use the spirit of
doubt to stop you from doing the right thing. Whenever they
say you can't, just take the "T" off.
3). ME First:
When we lost what we cherish in our relationship most of us
are quick to blame the other person. More often than not, we
do contribute to the problems we're experiencing. As much as
others may need to change, or we may want them to change,
the only person we can continually inspire, prod, and shape--
with any degree or in any degree of success is the person in
the mirror. €Our actions are like boomerangs, no matter what,
they'll always come back to us, in one way or another. Act
wisely," said Andres Lara
4). Start With the Heart:
Begin with the right motives, desire a change, want to win back
what you have lost in the relationship, remember the love, the
romance, the oath in the aisle; this is not the time to
remember his bad; keep it positive, keep it right; begin with
the right motive. You can't win back the intimacy without being
moved in the heart. If it is worth it, it isn't going to be an
option.
5). Forgiveness:
Before intimacy is being locked out someone some time,
somewhere was treated unjustly and he or she decided to
lock-up and not to give their best any more, some how the
other person without the knowledge of the particular offense
committed got fade of trying to please the spouse and both
went cold. One person must break the ice and it must be you.
An Apology can do miracles, forgive yourself and the your
spouse. Give it a shot.
6). Put the Other Person First:
Selfishness is a sole killer of marriages.
Women crave emotional intimacy in the same way that men
crave physical intimacy. You should know this and satisfy your
spouse needs. Consequently, just as men are vulnerable to
unfaithfulness in the absence of sex, women are vulnerable to
unfaithfulness in the absence of emotional connection. Put
her/ him first and the intimacy will be revived.
7). Undying Love:
Look for a way to show the love, be caring, communicate and
maintain bodily contact with your spouse to keep winning his
love. And wives keep making your man feel important and
expect God's goodness in your home.
8). Fill The Emotional Bank Account:
Men tend to give sex to get love without observing that to get
that sex you need to deposit quality time, touch and gift
wrapped with thoughtfulness and nice words. Where women
are stimulated by what they hear, Men are stimulated by what
they see, dress cute and give him some "good good loving".
Think of the word intimacy as "into-me-see." It is both physical
and emotional.
9). Patience:
Some marital experts would agree with me that the reason for
high percentage extramarital affair is because most husbands
fail to fill the emotional hunger their wives are yearning for
and wives feel to satisfy their physical needs. Yet you need
some time to allow your words and efforts to win back the
intimacy to have an effect in your spouse as you keep up the
good work.
1). Prayers:
Here is a precious secret I've learned: prayer invites angels
into the war zone of your experience... Let God know and let
him get to work wonders to get your intimacy back. That's the
reason its the number one thing.