No matter how tough his facade maybe, a man also suffer and feel pain when the woman he once shared the bed with, held hands for long and bore his children suddenly announced that she wants a divorce.
The pain does not usually come from the fact that he is about to lose her but more as a result of a bruised ego.
A man is most hurt when he feels rejected, of not being loved anymore by the one person he expects to love him in return in all aspects.
He can be very devastated before, during and after the divorce.
What can he do during these period? Just Let Go.
It will be hard to put away what was comfortable to have or to lose what you feel is a vital part of your existence.
But just like a book, one chapter needs to close for a new one to be opened.
Cut anything that ties you with her and start thinking about your own survival and rebuilding your life.
Do Not Be Afraid To Feel The Pain.
To feel pain means you are a normal human being.
Think that your hurting comes from something that can be healed over time, just like a wound.
Given the necessary care and right medicine, it will heal.
And so will you.
Denial is a Part of Recovery.
The road down total recovery will not be easy and you will find yourself denying the fact that this is happening to you and may even pretend that everything will just go back to normal.
Part of denial is anger.
Not so much towards her but on yourself.
You will start questioning yourself if you were a good husband and review every minute of every day of your married life looking for loopholes, of where you did wrong.
Denial is a normal part of your recovery.
But make sure it does not stay long.
It should be gone in a few months and by then you should notice that you have accepted the fact that your marriage is over.
Do Not Dwell on Guilt Feelings.
No one is perfect.
A marriage involves two people and marriages fall apart because of these two people.
Accept your own shortcomings and learn from them.
Believe That You Will Recover.
It will take you about two to three years before you can completely recover.
You have to go through the stages of denial, anger and acceptance before you finally experience the healing process.
During this period, be patient and believe that you are going to the right direction.
Rebuild Your Self-Esteem.
Making yourself feel good is one important step for you to take after divorce.
And there are many ways to move to this direction.
You may join a sports club, buy a new suit, go someplace for a vacation, meet new people.
You might date sometime, have brief sexual encounters.
The person you will go out with during this period is sometimes called "transitional partner".
They are the "special girlfriends" that eased a divorced man through the trauma.
They are there when needed, satisfying your sexual hunger, they listen, sensitive but not demanding.
They are handy.
But do not make the mistake of jumping on a new marital relationship too soon before you are even ready.
Remember, you are just in a transition.
For the total healing from the trauma of divorce to take place you have to understand the injury, apply the right medicine, and allow time to do its part.