Over the 10 years that I've been working in the field of human sexuality, I've come to realize that most couples start out with a variety of sexual positions in their lovemaking, but very quickly resort to using only two or three favorite positions for the vast majority of the time that they make love.

I don't think this is actually a very good idea, because there's plenty of research which demonstrates that one of the key things in keeping a relationship happy is sexual satisfaction; in turn, it's been demonstrated many times that sexual satisfaction is entirely dependent on a few key things, most notably emotional intimacy and novelty. In terms of sex, you get emotional intimacy from a feeling of love or respect for your partner, but the novelty is much more about the physical aspects of lovemaking. In other words, trying different sex positions on a regular basis is not only likely to keep your sex life passionate and exciting, it's also likely to ensure you continue to want and enjoy sex, and it will also increase your sense of emotional connection with your partner.

So having said that, why do most couples stop using a variety of sex positions when they make love? The answer seems to be that couples fall into a routine because they find one or two positions that are most comfortable for them and then stick to them. If you think about it, not all sexual positions are created equal! The reason lies in sexual anatomy. There can be major differences between couples as far as the angle of the erect penis and the angle of the vagina is concerned - so the crucial anatomical differences turn out to be not so much about size (except where a couple have a major discrepancy in the size of the vagina and the size of the erect penis) as about shape and angle.

For one thing, the position of the vagina can be quite variable, either being higher up towards the clitoris or further back towards the anus. Internally, its angle and shape is rather variable between women. Similarly, the angle and shape of the erect penis can vary dramatically between men, as indeed can the flexibility with which the shaft of the erect penis can be moved up or down. When you take all these factors together, it's clear that a couple will naturally, perhaps without even realizing it, find the sexual position (or two) which suits them best and then tend to stick to it.

But by doing this, they potentially miss out on a great deal of fun and excitement! It's not true to say that there are only a few sexual positions -- man on top, woman on top, side-by-side, rear entry, standing - and so on. In fact even small variations of any of these positions can produce vastly different sensations for a couple.

For example, in the man on top position, the further back a woman brings her knees, the deeper the man can penetrate, providing both of them with very different sensations. Equally, when the woman is on top, she always has the opportunity to enjoy the emotional sensations of leading and being dominant during sex, but physically the experience will be very different depending on whether she's sitting upright, squatting, or leaning forwards or backwards.

I think what all this means is that while we all assume we can "do" sex at least adequately, perhaps even well, the reality is slightly different. This probably explains why the Kama Sutra and similar texts have been so popular throughout human history. Nowadays we tend to be a little bit more arrogant in our approach to sex, perhaps thinking that we know it all.

It's my contention that a good guide to sex is essential for a couple to achieve the highest sexual pleasure in their relationship. And that isn't just about having a guide to hundreds of sex positions, useful though that can be. It's also about taking into account the emotional aspects of sexual intercourse. For example, while over time a couple tend to display a certain level of dominance and passivity towards each other in sexual matters, this can be a matter of habit rather than inclination. By teasing out the deeper, possibly unexpressed, motivations of men and women, it's actually possible to predict what sexual positions they will enjoy. (A woman who never usually expresses her dominant side may want to try woman on top sex once she becomes aware of it, for example.)

To take another example of this, the rear entry position seems to be universally popular with men, but with women it receives very variable approval - women who like rear entry sex tend to be the ones who are uninhibited and extroverted. But some women need to be exposed to that side of their natures before they feel free to act on it.

All in all, what this amounts to is that a questionnaire and some kind of analysis which helps people predict which sexual positions [http://www.makelovewithpassion.com]they will enjoy the most can add variety, passion, and sexual fulfillment to a relationship. If you haven't investigated this for yourself, it's well worth looking out for a website that offer some guidance on these matters. You can find one of them in the resource box below.