"Never use the passive where you can use the active.
" This rule is covered in most basic English writing classes.
But few of those classes include a corollary: "Avoid the use of the word "would" unless it is truly conditional.
" Taken together these may be the two most most valuable editing tips for improving your writing that you'll ever hear.
The following paragraph shows the effect of including what I call "dead would": In the summer my friend Annie and I would often pack a picnic lunch.
Then we'd head for the beach where we would set up our umbrellas.
We would rub Coppertone suntan lotion on each other's backs and settled onto our towels.
Sooner or later the guys would show up and ..
..
Compare that passage with this revised version that does nothing more than eliminate would: In the summer my friend Annie and I often packed a picnic lunch.
Then we headed for the beach where we set up our umbrellas.
We rubbed Coppertone suntan lotion on each other's backs and settled onto our towels.
Sooner or later the guys showed up and ...
Doesn't that just brighten the passage right up? There is still more that could be done to add sparkle to this paragraph, but clearing the "dead would" is enough to satisfy all but the most discerning.
The word would does have a legitimate place in the language.
For example, it's appropriate to say, "I would do it if he gave me $50," or "I would do it for $50.
" In both these cases, would is properly used in its conditional sense, not as a verb modifier.
The test for true conditional usage is the word "if.
" That tiny word needs to be at least implied before would is truly conditional.
When used outside the conditional tense, "would" muddies the voice of your writing and weakens it in the same way as using the passive tense.
So prune all the dead would and let the sun shine brightly on your stories.