Jealously, resentment and anger are inborn, natural causes of sibling rivalry.
Healthier sibling relationships can and will develop when partners systematically model, respect, love, problem-solving and conflict resolution.
To avoid sibling rivalry between your children, spend time alone with each one and show them their uniqueness.
Exert commitment; a willingness to put family goals above individual ones.
Exert trust; a feeling of confidence and support on the part of family members for each other.
Exert purpose; an understanding of what the family mission is.
Exert communication; the ability to handle conflict, decision making, and day-to-day interaction.
Exert involvement; partnerships and ownership in the family's mission.
Every family should have a mission.
Such as; Our family will express its commitment to volunteerism by choosing a family volunteer project for the next six months.
Or our family will learn a new sport like bowling, skiing, or roller-skating during the next year.
Or our family will do a better job of recognizing the accomplishments of family members by recognizing their activities and strengths.
And finally, our family will commit to a set time of daily devotions.
Venus and Serena Williams come to mind.
They don't fight.
They aren't jealous of each other.
They each want the best for each other.
They don't get upset when they are competing against each other.
They see it as a challenge.
Not as a statement of 'I'm better than you.
' Phyllicia Rashad and Debbie Allen, are two sisters who are in the same field; show business.
I've never heard a peep of jealousy or sibling rivalry between those two either.
I believe that they realize that there's enough room at the top for both of them to excel.
Aretha and Carolyn Franklin are two singing sisters.
I've never heard of sibling rivalry between those two women either.
Aretha is clearly the best singer, but I think that Carolyn knew her limitations and didn't overstep her bounds.
Then there is Olivia de Havilland and Joan Fontaine.
They are both actresses.
They are both in their nineties and still don't speak to each other.
They've been at odds since they were teenagers and went after the same parts.
It is said that when siblings reach age sixty, they put aside their disagreements and love each other despite their previous problems.
Not so for these women.
Joan lives in California and Olivia lives in Paris.
It's said that they'll go to their graves still not speaking.
I love my big sister and often seek her help in publishing matters.
It's nice to have a sibling who's been where you're trying to go and will help you get there if she can.