Labor Day ~ 2005 When, a couple of years ago, I wrote an article about my dread disease, I still had not fully comprehended how disabling Perminant Progressive MS can become.
I had come to realize that my denial had delayed acceptance of the diagnosis, my fear had stampeded me to stupid decisions, and had found ~ by writing a novel ~ I could dispel depression.
Yet, I could still walk, a little, and figured I would bounce back soon.
Reality catches up with most of us ~ sooner or later.
Not that it is easy to accept.
Although the 'Docs' said I had already passed from relapsing remitting MS ~ to Perminant Progressive MS ~ I thought I'd make a rather rapid comeback.
Little did I know that I would become even more dependent upon another who deserved less defiance from one she had committed to share life with.
When I went from a cane to a four wheel walker ~with a seat ~ her stress level dropped dramaticly.
I fell down a lot less too.
My handicapped, motorized scooter had long since been dispensed with when I had left real estate and had decided I wouldn't need it.
Now, I have another.
Now, I have a hard time getting out of the wheelchair onto it.
Perminant Progressive MS (Multiple Sclerosis) it's called.
"Progressive" has surely taken on more meaning ~as I can no longer walk ~ even with the walker.
Accepting life in a wheelchair is a tough one.
So is accepting the fact that keeping honeybees for BVT (Bee Venom Therapy) is not Therapystic option for those of us that must now reside in apartments.
"Perminant" is still not a diagnosis or concept that I am willing to accept.
Maybe, admitting to myself that I needed to use disposable briefs was the most major challenge? My caregiver's sensitivity to provide a sightly container ~ rather than stack my diapers in a conspicious place (like on the back of the toilet) ~ has made my right decision less embarrassing.
Her rapid removal of soiled disposables helps too.
Like most of us MSers, I continue to seek the "Silver Bullet," that non-traditional cure that conventional medicine ~ which says there is none ~ doesn't embrace.
Okay, I have tried a few.
Although some other MS victims have experienced significant improvements from these, Silver water, LDN, and various supplements, they haven't worked for me.
There are many weapons in the arsenal that I have yet to try.
Perhaps, my best weapon is faith? As Hebrews 11:1 says, "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not yet seen," I continue to keep on hoping I am led to the answer of renewed health for myself.
I also believe that I am where a very good God wants me to be ~ for His reasons.
If you have found my article because there is something in it you were supposed to see, I am delighted to have been of some small service.
You might want to visit the website I am learning to build and attempt to maintain http://MilesBooks.
com where other information awaits you.
To those of you who are affected by others with Multiple Sclerosis, I ask that you be patient with him or her.
Pray for us.
Hope we become more sensitive to how our compromised conditions impacts others ~ and that we make internal adjustments which will will be reflected in our outward actions.
For those who have Perminant Progressive MS, expect challenges.
Accept ~ without resentment ~ the helps and aids which are made available.
Become less of a problem for those who attempt to help you.